Author : Tonja Weimer
"...Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us....There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine..." Marianne WilliamsonRecently, I sent the above quote to readers of my newsletter. I got back an interesting response that I think many people feel.Dear Tonja, I thought that quote you sent was truly interesting. Especially the part that says there is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure. I think that is the way our family taught us to behave...to go out of our way to down play any attributes we have so that the people around us wouldn't feel threatened. That was out way of being gracious. Somehow I took that to the extreme and made constant disparaging remarks about myself. I can see why that isn't enlightened, but there must be a way to be humble without being very self-critical. However, I don't want to be a person with an over-inflated opinion of myself. I am...confused.Your point is well taken. However, I think you are confusing humility with self talk that takes hold of your psyche eventually and keeps you from claiming your talents and abilities. When you don't take responsibility for them, you are not aware of your power and influence with others.Magnificence and humility are not mutually exclusive, and, in fact, go hand in hand. Arrogance is not a part of greatness--it is a sign of an unenlightened person, suffering from deep insecurities, who must puff himself up with false self importance because deep down, he doesn't feel that he matters.If you truly value yourself, you are genuinely humble. You don't feel a need to overstate your accomplishments. However, you do not try to hide or deny them either. Maintaining the fine balance between humility and achievement is something you learn by earning a comfortable knowledge of who you are, discovering what matters most to you, and transferring your talents and skills into what you are passionate about.I have often heard people talk to themselves in a stern, unforgiving way. They may think that their words are inconsequential but they are impacting their subconscious in ways that will ultimately lead to self-defeat.The point of the quote is to remind people that they play too small in life. They don't know what they are capable of and give up finding out before they have faced the challenges and opportunities that would let them discover it. This is true in relationships and in work.If you are not accomplishing what you think you could be or if you feel something is missing in your life, ask yourself what you are afraid of. Name the fear, look at it from another perspective, ask yourself what your reward is by hanging on to it, and if you can't let it go at least make friends with it. Even if you know it is there, you can still step up and do what is right for you. You deserve to face your fears and claim your life.Visit http://www.tonjaweimer.com or http://www.singlesdatingtips.com for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our F*ree Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single's coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer. (Please note source if reprinting this article.)
Keyword : fear, afraid, afraid of, fears
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